


Hurt Me

by ruinedsalad



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (as much as Regulus will allow), Aftercare, Crying, Dacryphilia, Dom/sub, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Spanking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22201033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruinedsalad/pseuds/ruinedsalad
Summary: (Please heed the warnings on this one)Regulus has been struggling to deal with the fallout of Sirius being disowned for a while now. It's been building up inside him for weeks, but he can't let go. Nowhere is safe enough. That is, until James comes along.(A Kinktober fic from 2018 - moving things over from my tumblr account)
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 88





	Hurt Me

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the warnings, guys.   
> Enjoy?

James wasn’t surprised to see Regulus standing outside the Gryffindor common room that evening. He’d heard from Sirius that Regulus had received another letter that morning from his mother. Regulus hadn’t told him what the letter was about, but James could assume it had something to do with talking to his ‘blood traitor’ brother. 

He looked small. His shoulders were hunched over and his fringe had fallen in front of his eyes, casting a shadow across his face. James walked up behind him and rested a hand on the other boy’s shoulder. Regulus startled underneath him and spun around. 

“What the hell are you—Oh, James. It’s you.” 

James smiled at him and ruffled Regulus' hair.

"The one and only!" He said brightly. Regulus didn't return the smile. Instead, he shrunk back against the wall, putting space between them. James' brows furrowed.

"Do you want to come inside?" James asked, his voice soft. Regulus shook his head. "Are you sure?"

Regulus finally looked at him properly. James saw the dark circles that had formed under his eyes. He saw how Regulus' eyes were rimmed with red, and slightly bloodshot. He raised his hand to stroke the younger Black's cheek. Regulus froze, stared at James' hand, before closing his eyes and leaning into James' hand. James cupped his cheek before pulling Regulus into a hug.

"James," Regulus said, his voice cracking slightly. James tucked a stray hair behind Regulus' ear.

"What do you want, Reg?"

Regulus pressed his face into James' shoulder, and rubbed his forehead there. James held him close.

"Tell me what you need," James said, keeping his voice low and soft. Regulus mumbled into James' shoulder. It was usually easier for Regulus to admit what he needed rather than what he wanted. He wasn't accustomed to getting what he wanted.

"Regulus," James said, stepping back a little so he could look the other boy in the eye. "Tell me." He kept his voice soft, but the order was clear.

Regulus met James' eye and swallowed. His cheeks darkened, a blush spreading across them. He took a deep breath.

"I need you." Regulus said, his jaw clenched.

James smiled, held his hand, and pulled him down the corridor. He pulled Regulus behind him as he walked back and forth in front of the spot they knew well, thinking about what they needed. Before long, a door appeared in the wall in front of them. Regulus stood still, staring at the floor still. James nudged him forward playfully and said:

"Go on, darling. Lead the way."

Regulus took another deep breath, squared his shoulders, and pushed the door open. James followed a few steps behind him, and made sure the door was closed properly behind them. He gave Regulus a few minutes to take in his surroundings. When he turned around to face the other boy, Regulus was staring at the large sofa in the middle of the room. James walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him from behind, tucking his head over the other boys shoulder.

"Is this okay?" He asked. Regulus nodded and leaned back into James' embrace.

James kissed his cheek lightly, before patting Regulus' ass. Regulus jolted slightly and kept his face blank. James tutted quietly.

"You're really worked up, aren't you darling?" he said, stroking Regulus' stomach with his other hand. Regulus huffed, but said nothing. "Is that how it's going to be?" James asked, already knowing the answer. He knew Regulus had come to him for this, for James to push him to the edge, to break him down but keep him safe. He knew that without it, Regulus would find other ways to deal with it, but none of them ended well. He'd take responsibility for Regulus. He'd keep him safe.

James kissed his jaw and patted his butt again before letting go of him and going over to the sofa. He took off his robe and sat down, his back straight, arms spread out across the back of the sofa.

"Come here," he said. Regulus didn't move. "Darling, come over here." He kept his voice soft and light, letting Regulus know that he could take his time and move when he was comfortable, or even say no entirely.

After a few moments, Regulus walked over to the sofa. He sat down next to James, making sure to keep some space between the two of them. James waited.

Time ticked by, and for a while, they just sat together in silence. After a few minutes, James moved his hand to the back of Regulus neck and rubbed the sides with his fingers, working out some knots that had formed. Regulus leaned back into his hand, tipping his head back and eventually resting it entirely in James' hand.

James moved his hand up from Regulus' neck and into his hair, gently combing his fingers through the soft strands. Regulus' breathing gradually slowed down and became deeper as he relaxed. James smiled softly at him.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" He asked. Regulus instantly tensed up again. James cursed inwardly. "Alright," he said instantly, petting his hair again, "Alright, you don't have to talk." Regulus nodded a little, and shifted to press closer to him.

James wrapped his arms around Regulus, holding him close. Regulus pressed his face into James' neck, breathing in deeply. They stayed like that for a few more minutes before Regulus started to fidget again. James pulled away from Regulus.

"What do you need, Reg?" He asked. Regulus shook his head. "I can't give you what you want unless you tell me, Reg. I won't hurt you." Regulus squirmed.

"I... I need..." he paused mid-sentence, took a deep breath, and continued. "I need you to hurt me."

James watched as the boy in his lap clung to his sweater, his hands bunching up the knitted material. James stroked his hair lightly, giving him a few moments before he responded. 

“Okay, darling, I need you to get undressed for me.” James instructed. Regulus gripped his sweater even tighter for a moment before he finally let go. He stood up directly in front of James, but kept his head bowed as he undressed slowly. He started with his tie and shirt, folding each item neatly at the end of the sofa. James smiled at him softly the whole time, and praised him quietly afterwards. 

Regulus stood in front of him again, forcing himself to take deep breaths. James called his name, making the other boy look at him. 

“Come here,” he repeated, patting his lap. Regulus slowly moved over and climbed into James’ lap. James kissed him softly. “Lay across my lap, darling.” Regulus nodded and did as he was told. 

James stroked up and down Regulus’ back slowly, encouraging him to breathe at the same pace. Gradually, Regulus’ breath slowed down, and he rested his head on his arms which were stretched out before him. James leaned over and kissed the base of his spine. 

“Darling,” he said, “I’m going to begin now, but I want you to remember that this is not a punishment. You have done nothing wrong. This is to help you process what happened. I can tell you’re worked up, this is to help you unwind, okay?” 

Regulus nodded slowly. 

“If you want me to stop at any time, you can use your safe word. I promise I will stop.” Regulus nodded again. “Good boy.” 

James gently rubbed Regulus’ ass, getting him used to the sensation of being touched. Once he saw the other boy close his eyes, James brought his hand down harder on Regulus’ ass. 

Regulus jolted in James’ lap and bit down on his wrist, muffling the whimper that tried to escape. James couldn’t have that. 

“Darling, I need to hear you. You’re going to count each one, and then thank me after each spank. Do you understand?” 

Regulus paused and turned his head to look up at James. He looked James’ in the eye, searching for some reassurance. 

“If you want me to stop, all you have to do is ask.” Regulus nodded. “Use your words, darling.” James instructed. 

“Yes, I understand,” Regulus replied quietly. “I’ll count and say thank you.” 

“And use your safe word if you need to.” James prompted. 

“Yes.” 

“Good boy,” James replied, rubbing Regulus’ ass where he had just spanked him. “Now, we’re going to start again.” Regulus nodded before he turned around again and settled in James’ lap.

“Yes sir.” 

James smiled and leaned over to kiss the small of his back again, before he raised his hand and brought it down on Regulus’ ass, just next to where he had previously. Regulus tensed and his breath came out quickly.

“One. Thank you, sir.” 

“Good boy,” James replied. He repeated the process, rubbing the spot before he brought his hand down, spanking Regulus a little harder this time. The other boy cried out a little, grabbing at the sofa cushions.

“Two…” he panted out, “Thank you...sir…” 

James praised him and spanked him again in the same spot. The other boy squirmed in his lap. James held him still and stroked his hips. Gradually, Regulus calmed down and thanked him. James waited a moment to see if he would use his safe word. 

He didn’t. 

James spanked him again, on the other cheek this time, and harder than before. Regulus jolted in his lap, moved away from James hand, and whimpered. James stroked his back, shushing him gently. Quietly, Regulus thanked him. James took a deep breath and brought his hand down again. Hard. 

Regulus cried out properly this time. He clutched the sofa cushions, pressing his nails into them as he squirmed in James’ lap again. James held him close, keeping him still. Regulus whimpered and pressed into him, breathing quicker. 

“Puh… Please… Sir… Please I can’t…” he said, panting hard. James petted his hair. 

“Shh, sweetheart. You can do it, I know you can.” 

“No, sir, I can’t,” he begged. 

“Do you want to stop?” James asked. The other boy pressed his face into the sofa and shook his head as he mumbled something into the cushions. “Speak up, darling. I can’t hear you.”Regulus squirmed again as he lifted his head and looked at James. James could see the tears forming in his eyes that were yet to spill. 

“Please,” he said, his voice rough, “I can do it. Give me all of them. All at once, I can do it.” 

James nodded and encouraged him back into position. He rubbed Regulus’ ass, it was already somewhat red. He knew what he was about to do would hurt, but Regulus needed it, and could stop it. Regulus may call him ‘Sir’, but in that moment Regulus was the one in control. James took a deep breath, he needed to brace himself as much as Regulus did. 

He waited until Regulus has settled as much as possible. The other boy was still trembling slightly in his lap, his breath still quick and shaky. James stroked down his back one more time, before lifting his hand up, and bringing it down quickly on Regulus’ backside. He repeated this again and again, making Regulus cry out each time. His voice cracked and broke as he tried to count, eventually giving up, and just sobbed as James spanked him over and over until he reached ten spanks. 

Once he had, he pulled Regulus upright, and hugged him tight. The other boy pressed his face into James’ shoulder and sobbed, all the tears and emotions he had been holding back finally coming out. He clung to James, soaking his sweater. James pet his hair, and stroked his back until both of their breathing evened out. 

James pulled a blanket across them both as the room grew dark around them. They curled up together on the sofa, James spooning Regulus and holding him close. They fell asleep like that — wrapped up and safe. 

A few hours later, James awoke, cold and alone. He sat up and looked about the room. At the other end of the sofa, Regulus stood, fully dressed, about to leave. James frowned at the other boy. 

“Leaving already?” he asked. Regulus shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Regulus replied. 

“That’s not what I asked.” James said, acting serious for once. Regulus rolled his eyes and pulled his cloak on. 

“Do we have to go through this every time?” he sighed, “Look, you helped me out, and I appreciate that, but that doesn’t change anything.” 

“Right.” James replied, holding back the harsher words that crossed his mind. 

“Don’t get all precious on me, Potter.” 

“Back to last names then I see?” James asked, standing up from the sofa and dropping the blanket. 

“Leave me alone.” Regulus said as James moved over to him slowly. 

“Is that what you really want?” James asked, “To be alone? To go through what your mother does to you alone?” 

“Stop it.” 

“Let me help you.” 

“You’ve done enough.” 

“I could do more, if you’d let me be there for you.” James suggested. 

“I told you to leave me alone!” Regulus yelled, as he shoved James away from him and stormed out of the room. 

James never saw the boy outside his common room again. He rarely saw him around school again either, and when he did, Regulus ignored him, deliberately walked away. 

Then one day he stopped seeing Regulus around at all. 

James never set foot in the Room of Requirement again.


End file.
